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Talk to him and see what he says but I would suggest marriage counseling as well. I had to babies 11 months apart at the time. Ali October 31,am. That said, I agree with you bittergaymark.
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Same story!! Well, last night when he was doing laundry, I looked again. Your warning bell should be ringing loud and clear. Could you possibly be more alarmist? I was married years ago and my husband was doing the same thing, dating sites porn and then yes he was cheating. New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog.
A discussion about your lack of trust in your husband, what he can do to rebuild your trust and what was the impetus for his looking at Casual Encounters is long overdue. And many men DO view it almost as a form of porn.
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I am writing this because I need to get my head clear. Maybe she should simply talk to her husband about this. They both discovered that their husbands had been cruising the Casual Encounters sections of Craigslist. What do I do? You get to have a voice in any behaviour that has the potential to destroy your marriage or your family.
That is NOT what your husband is doing. Amanda October 31,am.
This is a HUGE red flag. So, here I am a single Mom of 2 teenagers and I thought I had finally found a nice guy. The problem is that he was trying to hide it from you. Your husband is looking for personals to have some sort of sexual connection with. But the husband should talk to his wife about this. CG October 31,am. And once again, it is very clear that far too many of you know precious little of male craigslist.
I husband there are a lot of people out there who look at these websites the same way they look at porn and have no intention of meeting anyone from it. Craigslist can be hysterical. LW, hold your husband to better standards!! Trolling the internet for kicks is not the solution and he should be ashamed of keeping this a secret and not opening up to his wife when he has issues. Infidelity used to be one of the cut and dry scenarios that required an immediate break up. Additionally, you have two very young children with this man, which brings up a whole bunch of serious problems.
My friends and I used to look at those for fun, because they were so crazy. Pabbas June 17,pm. GatorGirl October 31,am. She senses her husband is being deceitful. Anonymous February 12,am. Maybe he sees them on his lunch break. I would have a hard time trusting my husband after finding out about something like that. Sure you could ignore it and pretend everything is fine on the surface but eventually it will grow and do damage.
I am not going to get into whether what he did constituted cheating — or whether I think he has probably already cheated I do. Open the lines of communication. Why hide from what it is and instead say he is entitled to just look? He may, but talk to him first.
Look, obviously, this needs to be discussed, but the last thing this LW needs is everybody pouring fuel onto the fire when in the reality it very damn well be nothing but smoke. SixtyFour October 31,am. Gemini October 16,pm. Think of it like a sickness. Anna October 31,am. They can be hilarious, or disturbing, or in the best of all worlds, both. Do you normally feel that you have to look at his internet history? She needs to discuss it with him in a non-confrontational way and find out what is up. There is absolutely no proof whatsoever that he is meeting up with anybody from craigslist.
Lucy November 1,pm. But, like you said, it was a shared joke rather than a dirty little secret. I cannot stress this enough:. Please help yourself see this from another perspective. Many of you seem to view men in the most simplistic of terms sexually. Really think about that.
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So use it. FireStar October 31,am. Also thanks for saying that. There is appropriate behaviour and inappropriate behaviour. Maybe he wants a more exciting sex life.
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Tell him what you found. Talk to your husband. Ok so he is not looking at dirty magazines or porn…he is looking for someone to hook up with…. I agree that the hiding part is the big red flag here. I have a different perspective. It makes you responsible in your own relationship and life.
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But you already know that. Sunshine Brite October 31,am. God, Wendy. I agree with you to a point. This in itself could constitute cheating depending on what the LW and her husband both agree to in their relationship. Not for judgment.
“my husband is cruising craigslist’s casual encounters”
The fact that you even felt something was off — that your GUT told you to look at his history! When my youngest was 3 his aggression passive and definitely not passive plus the porn and cheating ended our marriage. My emotions are over the top right now. If he thought it was funny like my friends and me, you would have heard about it.
Talk to a marriage counselor if you need help getting your trust back. So I agree that what the husband is doing is not innocent internet browsing for entertainment value. Talk to your husband LW. Lea October 31,am. Does that simplify the issue enough for you to see what has to happen? You know what? What is wrong with the truth, LW? What is wrong saying that my husband was acting shady and hiding his phone and when I checked I found he had been considering casual sex with strangers? Lianne October 31,am.